When is the Right Time to Move In Together?

by on May 5, 2012

Couple Moved In TogetherAfter a couple has been together for some time and they are comfortable with each other, they either consider getting married or moving in with each other. The reasons for couples moving in together are many: they want to spend more time together, under one roof; they see the futility of living at separate lodgings when they can easily live together and share their expenses. So, the question now arises is whether they are ready for such a commitment. Are you too in such a situation? To help you decide if the time is right to move in with your partner, consider the following guidelines:

  • Are you truly in love with each other? Ask yourself if you if you want to be a part of each others lives and if you want to take your relationship to the next level. By living with each other, you will learn those intimate things about your lover that you would not know if you were living separately. Are you ready for this? You see the good and bad in your partner as he does in you. On the flip side, you lose your privacy—you’re always available for each other whether you want to talk to each other or not, or make love or not or share in the housework or not.

 

  • Can you alter the way you live to include your lover in your life? Until now, you’ve been living on your own and leading your life the way you want to. Can you now alter the way you live to accommodate your lover? When you live with someone, you’re answerable to that person for your movements and your decisions. It’s not everyone who can give this level of commitment to their partners, so think hard whether you really want to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

 

  • Are you moving in together for good, solid and right reasons? If getting physical with each other is your only reason to get together, it’s not worth it. You need to have strong reasons for moving in with each other—something like close and true friendship, mutual love and respect.

 

  • Do you need to share the bills? Moving in together to share the house bills, then you’re taking a big risk because you’re entering an area that might boomerang on you. Supposing you don’t get along after a while and decide to part ways, you’d have to move back from where you came, and finding a good place to stay after an emotional break-up might not be easy.

So, look at your situation objectively before you take this step. Perhaps, with a little more time spent together, you might decide to exchange marriage vows rather than take this intermediate step. Deciding on when’s the right time to move in together is going to take effort from both parties, trust your gut instinct and you should be fine.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Martin Cooney
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May 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Great little roadmap article.
Mind you, I think it also changes with age too. I could certainly have better appreciated this advice when I was in my 20s.

Now I’m in my 50s, when I was dating my current wife, we were both very much aware of all these points, intuitively.

First face to face date in Bali, flew to each other’s countries and spent a month living with each other and we’re now married and living in Australia – kinda cool.

Point 1 is vital though. It will take some soul searching to really ‘know’ whether it’s love or infatuation. If the latter, stop where you are and take stock. Moving in together is a serious step to take for most people in a budding relationship.
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