How to Stay Out of the Friend Zone

Stay out of friend zone

by on October 30, 2011

The best way for a guy to stay out of the friend zone… is to avoid falling in it. Sometimes it isn’t always that easy though. Sometimes you start off as friends – and then all of a sudden start to ‘feel’ something from her and start having feelings for her. But if you can…..the moment you meet a girl, you have to establish right away that you don’t want to be just friends. You can do this by doing several things. If you were friends for a long time and suddenly started to have feelings for her, these things will also help get out of the friend zone.

1)      Make your intentions known.

Flirt with her. Do it in a way that doesn’t boost her ego too much (because then she’ll think of that as an indication that she can walk all over you) but lets her know you’re interested in her. Don’t be afraid to tell her how beautiful she is – or how good that new dress looks on her.

2)      Pique her interest.

Maintain a sense of mystery. Don’t talk about your exes. Don’t show weakness, uncertainty or a lack of confidence. Ever. In fact it’s better to err on the side of cocky, but there’s a fine balance between cocky and total douche. Don’t cross it.

3)      Perception is reality.

What she sees is all that matters. Have problems? Don’t even think about talking to her about them. Not until she is actually your girlfriend. And at least wait for a few months until you’re solid. Make her see how desirable you are. Always look well put-together all the time. Don’t let yourself slip. Have girls around you to spark that sense of competition in her.

4)      Keep busy.

Make sure your life doesn’t revolve around her.  Have your own interests and keep them. If you’re busy on a night that she wants to hang out with you then keep those plans. It makes yourself scarce which increases your value.

5)      Don’t give more than you’re willing to lose.

Think of this as a reward system. You can give her things or do nice things for her as long as she deserves it. And if you do give her something or do something for her, don’t give too much. At least not more than you’re prepared to part with. This means no expensive dinners if you’re working minimum wage.


Although these are some good guidelines that will help you stay out of the friend zone…you really have to be upfront and honest with her. It would be a good idea to tell her straight up, instead of going in for that kiss when she is not at all expecting it ;)

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

adultdating January 10, 2012 at 7:57 am

i go for the last paragraph. straight up. if you do the i-hope-she’ll-know things, that will just delay any outcome. the sooner you know the response the better. whether its negative (o well, lets stay friends) or positive (cool, i’ve been lovin you).


ofwdating February 20, 2012 at 6:08 am

true that. they say a friend falling for a friend ain’t too much of a good idea. but in reality, that is just but perfect. you’ve known each other for some time, you know how to interact and react with her so you basically know how to love her. and yeah, say that upfront and personal instead of being that dramatic dreamer who pretends to support a friend to her relationships when you’re actually hurt.


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