4 Easy Ways to Tell if a Girl is Flirting with You

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by on September 10, 2011

Now, I’m not going to tell you the stuff that everyone has always considered as flirting, such as flipping her hair over her shoulder, giggling, batting eyelashes, etc… because not every girl flirts that way. I guess some girls have realized that guys have caught on and have to try something more subtle. Instead I’ll let you know some basic tried and true indicators of interest. Keep in mind, that just because it seems like we’re interested because of these following actions it doesn’t always mean that we are. Why? Because us women aren’t always sure what we want. We may want something one day and another, the next. We’re just crazy like that. But that’s another story. Anyways, back to those tips of how to tell if a girl is flirting with you…….

1)      Lowering her eyelashes and looking down shyly while smiling slightly.

Staring too intensely into a guy’s eyes can be creepy and can make the girl look like she has “crazy eyes” (watch that How I Met Your Mother episode “Swarley” from Season 2, Episode 7, and you’ll know what I mean). On the other hand, not giving any eye contact at all is bad news. Behavioral psychology articles and body language experts all over agree that this sends a signal out to people that you’re dishonest, disinterested and have low self-confidence. All bad stuff.

So a good balance is to maintain some eye contact and look down periodically (this makes her look demure and alluring at the same time) while smiling. The looking down part is innate. It’s a subconscious effort to show the man that he is dominant and the woman is willing to be dominated or preyed upon. Seriously. That’s what behavioral psychology says.

2)      Flashing the wrists, neck, showing palms etc…

All these places are associated with vulnerability. Showing palms has traditionally signaled “I have nothing to hide”. Flashing her wrists, say while she’s resting her head lightly on her chin or running her fingers through her hair is another sign of open body language. It’s usually interpreted as her wanting to get to know you because it’s a part of her body that is rarely seen nor does it need to be seen. Take for example, when she’s resting her head on her chin. She doesn’t need to position the inside of her wrist to face you, but she does, making her look more inviting and approachable. The neck is one of the most vulnerable areas on our body. It’s also one of the most sensual and packed with nerve endings. When she ties her hair back to expose her neck, she’s showing you her sensual side. Literally.


3)      Touching herself

This is pretty straightforward. If a woman is absentmindedly stroking her arms or legs it’s a subtle way to signal to the male how she would like to be touched, and a pretty strong indicator that she is flirting with you.


4)      Watch her toes

Nope, not just when you’re dancing together but whenever you’re together. If you’re out with a group of friends and want to know if the girl sitting beside you is interested in you, look at her feet and the direction they’re pointing. If they’re pointing at you, you might just be a lucky guy! Experts have said time and time again that our feet are one of the best indicators of interest. They’re very subtle. No one really pays attention to them so we’re more relaxed about our feet. And in turn, they reflect our inner thoughts. Oh and of course, it makes for an easy exit!


Now, take all of this advice with a grain of salt. Of course just because a girl exhibits one of the above behaviors doesn’t automatically mean she is flirting with you. Rather, pay attention to her behavior over time. If it’s consistent, there’s a good chance that she actually is interested in you.


Happy flirting! :)


{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Chris July 21, 2012 at 9:05 am


I just wanted to say thanks for elaborating on the whole toe-pointing thing. I saw it on other sites and it made no sense whatsoever. Cheers.

-Chris S.


nicholas July 23, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Help! I can´t find info on this anywhere. All sources are talking abot feet pointing in your direction.
but what if a woman places her foot on your chair when she sits next to you?
Really relaxed woman or aggressively pursuing her prey. Waddaya think?


Dave July 23, 2012 at 11:18 pm

I would have to think that is definitely a sign that she feels comfortable around you – for me, if I thought she was into me and put her foot on my chair I would slickly put my foot on top of hers, and based on her reaction I would either play it off like an accident or as I was flirting back with her and wanting her to know I was flirting with her…


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